The uncertainty of the day ahead wears on my energy. I need to round it all up and learn what is what as quickly as I can. I was born to sit under an oak and think, or sit at a desk in some old drab home looking out a window. I was made for quiet and solitude. But being made for it doesn’t mean I get to do it. I still have people that need things from me. I’ve got to pay the Naples rent, and I’ve got to keep the car payment paid. We need gas, and food, and all the other bills need paid. I need to keep these things afloat for the ones I love. Still the conflict runs rampant in my spirit. Being so sensitive to my source, or my home, or what it is I’m for, and being forced to live apart from that causes a chronic sadness.
Today I will walk forward into the belly of the beast as I have done for so many years now. I will not do so kicking and screaming, but I will walk forward under my command. I will not become docile to life. Even though buried deep under the years of life. I will conceive of my direction, and I will strive for its revelation. And I will hold all within that conception.